Letting a baby 'cry it out'

Did you use the Ferber method of sleep training? Do you believe in letting your baby cry it out in the name of sleep training? To me, I think letting your child cry it out is like withholding food from your newborn to teach them how to control their appetite. It's crazy.

The "cry it out" approach assumes that falling asleep on your own is a skill like any other and that your baby can master this skill if you give him the opportunity. It is also supposed to teach a baby to learn to self-soothe rather than needing immediate attention from their caregiver.

I say this is ridiculous. Eventually, a child will learn to fall asleep on his/her own. You get tired and you fall asleep. You get hungry you eat. It's a primal instinct; no one needs to teach a baby to do this. They were doing it for months in utero. I suppose these parents are the same ones who believe that you can spoil a baby with too much love. I disagree with that, as well.

Letting a child cry it out borders on inhumane. If my child wants to fall asleep cuddled in my lap, what's the harm? If my baby falls asleep nursing, am I supposed to wake her up and then lay her in bed alone simply so she can learn to fall asleep on her own? Seems a bit ridiculous and over kill to me.

We chose a different path. We never Ferberized, we instead opted for attachment parenting. We co-slept. We've never had any issues with self-soothing. My daughters woke up, they reach out, and we were there. Knowing we were there, they would fall right back to sleep. They have since gone to their own beds, occasionally they will still find their way to our room. We have no problem with that. For the most part, they understand that if they wake up and they need us, we are just across the hall. Usually, they just fall back to sleep.

Crying it out is nothing I would have ever done. It doesn't work for our style of parenting. I don't think there is anything to be proven by Ferberizing my child. There is no award for the toughest parent who let's their child cry it out the most. I will opt for snuggles, cuddles and co-sleeping any day.

10 Ways to Say "No" Without Saying No

By: Mike Mitchell
Telling your toddler "no" is one of the easiest forms of discipline, but it isn't always the most effective. Here are 10 better ways to get your tot to listen. There are better ways to deny, deter, or discipline your child than always saying "no." Aside from the obvious exhaustion for both parent and child some parenting experts believe that saying "no" too much can breed resentment or plant seeds for future rebellion.

According to Audrey Ricker, Psy.D., co-author of Backtalk: 4 Steps in Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids, using "no" too often can desensitize a child to its meaning, so save the word for life-threatening situations instead. Use short, clear and concise phrases to explain why your toddler shouldn't do something. Try these 10 short sentences to substitute for "no."

1. "I know you like ice cream, but eating too much is not good."
David Walsh, Ph.D., author of No: Why Kids -- Of All Ages -- Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, suggests that parents deny certain junk food requests, like ice cream and candy, by offering a healthier alternative, such as yogurt. Avoid the promise of "maybe tomorrow," Dr. Walsh says. "Toddlers can't comprehend time very well, so it doesn't make sense to tell them exactly when in the future they will get ice cream. Most toddlers just want what they want, so the parents need to calmly, firmly, and warmly offer the healthy snack in spite of a toddler's protests." This way, your toddler still gets a treat, but it's better option.

2. "Food is for eating, not for flinging."
Toddlers tend to play with food because they might still be full from a previous meal. The food then becomes a toy, says Linda Shook Sorkin, a licensed marriage and family therapist and expert contributor for KidPointz.com. Instead of shouting as your toddler flings a bowl full of macaroni and cheese to the floor, simply take the bowl away and explain the reason why he shouldn't throw food. Use this calm, explanatory approach when your little one starts bouncing on the bed in the late hours by saying, "Beds are for sleeping and relaxing, not for jumping." But if he takes a sip of milk without protest, acknowledge the good behavior with a compliment.

3. "Don't knock down Legos. Let me show you how to play."
If your curious toddler decides to go Godzilla on his big brother's Lego tower, it's not always a sign of jealousy -- at least not consciously, explains Fran Walfish, Psy.D., author of The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building a Better Bond with Your Child. "He may not be aware that he is jealous of his brother's talent. He may simply see the Lego building and think that it would be fun to knock it down," Dr. Walfish says. "Most kids hate to be told what to do, some more than others. But if your child hears you reflect out loud what he should want and feel, this will help raise his self-awareness and feel seen, acknowledged, and understood. This is empathy." Ask if you can join in and model the proper way to play with others.

4. "Things need to grow. Let's be gentle."
If you catch your toddler ripping apart prized peonies or pulling a family pet's tail, point out that plants and animals are alive too. "When you hurt the flower (or pet), you hurt its feelings and growth." This helps you child develop empathy and awareness of the feelings of other living beings. "Give the child responsibility to learn that plants should be treated with respect, as with nature in general," says Marva Soogrim, the nanny of choice for celebrity A-listers, including Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, and Courteney Cox, and the founder of MarvalousBabies.com.

5. "We use our words, not our hands."
This is a clever approach to avoid saying "No hitting your sister." "A toddler's capacity to understand what it means to hit others is very limited. It's important to stop the aggressor immediately and then calmly state the behavior you want, by saying 'We do not hit when we are angry,'" Shook Sorkin explains. In many instances, the toddler is expressing his frustrations or seeking attention. "Ask siblings to hug each other to cultivate affection. Help kids calm down when they are angry or ask what they want when they are unhappy," she says. Another variation is to help the child begin identifying the feelings he is experiencing in any given moment. Once that feeling is identified, take a step further to solve the problem.

6. "I can't understand you when you whine like that. Tell me in your regular voice."
As your tot learns new words, she may whine to protest or request something. Avoid saying, "Stop whining" or "We don't whine." Instead, encourage her to communicate with simple words. Richard Bromfield, Ph.D., author of How to Unspoil Your Child Fast, suggests saying, "I can't understand you when you use the whiny voice." This can convince your child to speak in a normal tone. "The most powerful and natural motivator will be the reward of having her words, feelings, or requests heard and responded to. This approach carries the implicit lesson that the child has a choice in not just her tone of voice but in much of her behavior."

7. "Watch out! Mommy is coming to get you."
Laughter can be a wonderful asset when disciplining because it shows that you can identify when a more lighthearted approach is best. "Distraction and humor are excellent strategies to use with toddlers who are feeling stubborn or irritable," says Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., author of What About Me? 12 Ways to Get Your Parents' Attention (Without Hitting Your Sister). "Little kids love to laugh, so doing something silly can be a fun and caring way to redirect them towards greater cooperation. You don't have to be a great comedian to do this. You can say a funny warning, like 'Here come the tickle fingers!'" The next time your toddler is knocking the garbage can over or throwing a ball in the house, playfully chase him into another room where there are more appropriate forms of engagement.

8. "Can mommy have the phone? You can have this toy."
Your child may want to hold your iPhone every time it rings in the grocery store, but it's not a plaything. Give your child a small and engaging toy instead the next time she tries to grab the phone. "It's easier for children to replace a behavior than to stop it," Dr. Kennedy-Moore says. If you don't have a toy with you, try handing her a safe and inedible item (like a plastic ball) that can't be destroyed or cause a mess and isn't dangerous. You can also use the opportunity to educate them on the different items in the store.

9. "Leave your shoes on. We take our shoes off only at home."
Your toddler just began wearing shoes and he makes every attempt to take them off. Instead of chiding him to "stop taking your shoes off," explain what you want him to do instead. This can even be applied to toddlers who start wearing their wardrobes at inopportune times. Try, "We wear bathing suits at the beach, not at the playground." Or if your toddler climbs on top of furniture say, "Chairs are for sitting down" or "Please stand on the floor."

10. "Stop!" "Danger!" or "Hot!"
Sometimes "no" isn't enough to communicate possible danger. Instead, use other strong adjectives or verbs with a tone of urgency to convey a sense of urgency. "Parents forget that they have to work hard at the positive communication they have with kids for the negative to be effective," Dr. Ricker says. She suggests parents communicate danger by "raising their voice, shaking their finger or even looking scared." This means that if your toddler is about to put his hand on the stove -- even when it's not in use -- express your fear with alarming phrases and move him to a safer place immediately.

Parents, Stop Fearing Video Games

By: Richard Rende
Do video games have an upside? Scott Steinberg, an author and technology analyst who's written for 400+ outlets from Parents and CNN to The New York Times and Rolling Stone, tells me that they do. Here he discusses 3 surprising things he believes parents should know about video games.

1. They're not evil, destructive, or going away.
Besides being a perfectly normal and positive part of childhood, mounting research shows that gaming can have tremendous mental and physical benefits for children. But like any other part of a balanced media diet, you have to be careful what types of titles you consume, in what manner and to which extent. The one tip today's parent concerned with video games and their potential effects on children would do well to heed: Educate yourself about them, and don't be afraid to go hands-on with the controller. Games can be a powerful force for good, like any other medium -- but you also need to make informed decisions, teach kids positive play habits, and foster an environment that's conducive to healthy interaction and development.

2. They're the future of education.
Games and 3D virtual worlds offer massive benefits over passive, traditional solutions such as snooze-inducing lectures and presentations. Case in point: Interactive options encourage learning, experimentation, and problem-solving in real-time sans fear of failure in lifelike contexts, letting students respond dynamically as situations evolve, providing a more realistic, engaging, and retainable learning experience. Moreover, even everyday titles found on GameStop's shelves -- SimCity, World of Warcraft, etc. -- teach players how to manage limited resources, cooperate, or delegate authority and problem-solve dynamically, while others such as Civilization V can spark interest in history, geography, and foreign cultures.

3. Today's game player could be tomorrow's CEO.
According to the Federation of American Scientists (FAS), kids need more, not less, video game play. "The success of complex video games demonstrates that games can teach higher-order thinking skills such as strategic thinking, interpretative analysis, problem solving, plan formulation and execution, and adaptation to rapid change," the Federation announced in a recent report. "These are the skills U.S. employers increasingly seek in workers and new workforce entrants." Bottom line: The next time you tell your lazy teen to get off the Xbox and get a summer job, you may actually be doing them a disservice.

As you consider these points, do keep in mind that it is always important to make sure that video games like any other form of technology do not interfere with all those other important things kids should be doing, like reading, playing, and having positive social interactions. And do note that Mr. Steinberg has recently launched The Modern Parent's Guide, the world's first high-tech parenting book series covering all aspects of connected life from social networks to online safety with the debut of The Modern Parent's Guide to Kids and Video Games, a complete how-to guide for families. In addition to paperback, iBooks and Kindle editions, the volume will be 100% free to download.

Parents leaving big decisions to kids

The days of 'because I said so' are long gone. Why? Because your kid said so. Parents today are more likely to consult their children on family decisions both big and small, rather than make choices all on their own. A new survey of 1300 American parents found that a startling 64 percent get feedback from their kids before before making the rules or even making a purchase.

The survey, conducted by the consumer research group The Family Room, found that 27 percent of parents actually let kids make a majority of the household decisions themselves. And that doesn't just mean what's for dinner, but what computer to buy or which car-maker to trust.

It's called Generation Collaboration, according to the Family Room, and it's a new way of parenting that puts kids, if not in the drivers' seat, than in front passenger seat with an emergency break.

What's in the fridge is more likely a blend of foods kids and parents agree on. Grocery shopping is a compromise as opposed to a litany of pleas and occasional cave-ins. And regardless of the decision, parents are more likely to ask kids "are you okay with that?" before the final word is had.

According to the survey about half of parents will even ask their kids before they make purchases for themselves, especially when it comes to technology products. The Family Room says the "chief technology officer" in the house is usually the pre-teen. Even a portion of parents looking to purchase their next car turn to their own teenagers for advice.

It's huge shift from the baby boom generation raised under the tutelage of "Father Knows Best" and the credo that "children should be seen and not heard".

In contrast, 'Gen C' is a reaction to the world we live in now. First and always, blame the economy. With most two-parent households relying on two working parents, kids are left to their own devices longer. As a result, "parent guilt" drives moms and dads to give their kids more power when they're all together, according to Family Room researchers. But it's also born out of the need to make their kids more self-sufficient and independent. Both are key to kids making trust-worthy decisions on their own. Another cause of 'Gen C': the importance placed on self-esteem and open communication. Both are more valued than old-school obedience and manners in terms of raising healthy, socially adapted kids.

That may be, in part, because social networking and its underage audience rule the consumer-driven world. Parents are turning to kids for advice on technology, because technology is made for and by a generation of kids or almost-kids. Raised with iPhones as toys and playlists as bedtime lullabies, young children are understand the nature of gadgets in a more innate way that the generations that came before them. Meanwhile, the generation building the newest technology is younger than ever before and marketing with an eye to the future.

Case in point, SNL's recent Verizon parody describing the manic, hyper-variety of smartphones as "an old person's nightmare." Some things, particularly gadgets, are already over the heads of consumers in their 30's and 40's.

As the voice of social networking sites and some of the most active, devoted users of Twitter and Facebook, companies are following what kids say is "trending" in order to design everything from gadgets to entertainment. Like many parents, major corporations are also are deciding with kids in mind, over adults. So it's no wonder parents need their kids' input before they buy the thing that wasn't really made for them in the first place.

What "personhood" bills really mean for women

Last week, the Virginia House of Delegates passed House Bill 1 (HB1), which grants unborn children "at every stage of development… all of the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of the Commonwealth."

And in Oklahoma, the state senate voted 38-4 to pass Senate Bill 1433 (S.B. 1433), changing the state's definition of the word "person" to include unborn children "from the moment of conception." While backers of the bills insist they don't restrict abortion, stem-cell research, or contraception, opponents warn that the bills erode women's reproductive rights and could have far-reaching consequences.

What do these bills really mean for women?
The Virginia bill now heads to that state's Senate for debate; if it passes in the Senate, governor Robert McDonnell has said that he would consider the bill, but did not promise to sign it or to veto it. The Oklahoma bill now goes to the state's House, where there are more than twice as many pro-life politicians than pro-choice ones; Oklahoma governor Mary Fallin, who Reuters reports has signed "every anti-abortion bill sent to her last year," did not issue a statement about the bill. All four Republican candidates for U.S. President support the idea of a federal personhood amendment.

Virginia Democratic Delegate Eileen Filler-Corn told CNN that the legislation represented an "overreach by the state."

"These decisions should be left to a woman and her physician, a medical professional," Filler-Corn said. "This is a slippery slope and eventually, the goal of the personhood movement is to ensure that birth control is illegal."

This is the third time that Republican state representative Bob Marshall has proposed a personhood bill in Virginia, and he says that the bill would not prevent access to legal birth control though when asked to put that in writing, he and other state Republicans refused, voting 64 to 34 against adding an amendment protecting access to contraception.

"The legal effect here is [if] a pregnant woman is driving in an intersection and someone runs into her, she can sue for loss of a child," Marshall explained. "Under the current code, a mother cannot do that."

But Marshall was blunt about the bill's pro-life intent: "You'd have to be completely obtuse to not understand that is something I have worked toward for 20 years," he candidly told the Huffington Post. In an interview with CNN, he explained: "We need to get back to the respect for life that we used to have in this country that's been lost."

Here's the thing: It's easy to say that life begins at conception. But it's impossible to accurately identify the instant that actually happens within an individual woman's body. There is no medical way to test for fertilization; pregnancy tests detect hormone changes in the blood nine to 10 days after the sperm meets the egg (urine tests take even longer). And, given that a fertilized egg can't develop into a fetus if it hasn't implanted properly in the womb, if the personhood bill becomes law there would be a seven to 10 day window (the time it takes for a fertilized egg to travel from the Fallopian tubes to the uterus and successfully implant) during which a person with full legal rights and privileges is literally in limbo.

The issue doesn't end when implantation takes place, either: If that bundle of cells has individual legal rights, yet can't survive outside of the womb, the implications can be vast. According to the American Pregnancy Organization, studies show that 10 percent to 25 percent of all clinically confirmed pregnancies end in miscarriage and 50 percent to 75 percent of those miscarriages occur shortly after implantation, when a woman usually doesn't yet know she's pregnant. Though Virginia's HB1 specifically states that "Nothing in this section shall be interpreted as creating a cause of action against a woman for directly or indirectly harming her unborn child," it does not contain language protecting medical professionals who may be treating the pregnant woman and it does not prohibit the government from intervening on behalf of the still-developing baby. Oklahoma's S.B 1433 offers no such protection for pregnant women, which means that women who miscarry could be prosecuted unless they could prove it was unintentional.

Chorionic villus sampling (CVS) and amniocentesis, two standard medical procedures used to identify chromosomal abnormalities in utero, each have about a two-percent miscarriage rate that is, for every 100 times either one is performed, there are, on average, two miscarriages. There are anembryonic pregnancies, in which the fertilized egg implants into the uterine wall but fetal development never begins, and ectopic pregnancies, in which a fertilized egg implants somewhere other than in the uterus and must be removed in order to save the woman's life. Not all embryos created during fertility treatments survive once they're transferred to the womb. If a personhood bill becomes law, does a medical intervention become murder?

Four states, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Dakota, and South Dakota, ban abortion outright; their laws would automatically go into effect if Roe V. Wade were overturned. Thirteen other states have abortion bans that are unenforced. Personhood bills have failed in Mississippi and Colorado; a second bill in Oklahoma would outlaw emergency contraception like Plan B, certain fertility treatments, and abortion in all cases, even for rape or incest.

Calling the personhood bills absurd and sexist, Democratic state senator Constance Johnson of Oklahoma City introduced a bill of her own in early February, granting similar rights and benefits to sperm. Her bill stated: "Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman's vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child." It failed, as did one proposed by Democratic state senator Jim Wilson of Oklahoma that would have required the father of the unborn child to be financially responsible for the mother-to-be's housing, healthcare, transportation, and food while pregnant.

Women’s Reproductive Rights, State by State

Women's reproductive rights vary widely from state to state. According to Naral Pro-Choice America, in 2011, 26 states enacted 69 anti-choice measures including bans on abortions after 20 weeks (without adequate exceptions to protect a woman's health or for when pregnancy was a result of rape or incest) and funding restrictions for lower income women. Many states also have requirements for waiting periods and ultrasounds before obtaining an abortion. Texas and Oklahoma insist a woman seeking an abortion view the ultrasound.

3 Exercises Every Mom Should Do

There's dinner to make, homework to help with, and so many other tasks on your to-do list! Who has time to spend hours in the gym? Ever wonder if the exercises you're doing are going to give you the best results for your body? Well look no further! These three moves offer body benefits--and they don't require a gym membership or fancy equipment. Make them part of your fitness routine on a regular basis and you'll be looking and feeling better in no time.

I. Squats
Why they're effective: Squats are the go-to move for everyone who strength trains because they engage more muscles than any other move. Squats work the thighs (quads, hamstrings, outer thighs), glutes, and core (abdominals and the muscles that support your spine). You don't need any equipment to perform squats, but always have the option of adding dumbbells and/or a stability ball to add challenge. Perform 1-3 sets of 8-15 repetitions.

a. Starting Position
Stand with your feet wider than shoulder width apart and your toes slightly turned outward.

b. Action
INHALE: With your abs pulled in tight and your weight in your heels, slowly lower by bending at the knees and slightly from the hips. Keep your back as upright as possible (don't lean forward from the waist). EXHALE: Straighten legs and come up to the starting position to complete one rep.

c. Special Instructions
Make sure your knees don't cross the plane of your toes. Try to lower until your thighs are parallel to the floor. If you have difficulty performing this exercise you can also use a chair or wall to help with balance and the movement until you build sufficient strength.

II. One-Arm Dumbbell Rows
Why they're effective: Did you know that the easiest way to look longer and leaner is to improve your posture? Rounded shoulders are common among women when the weight of the breasts pulls the shoulders forward and upper back muscles are weak. Most people only train what they consider to be a "problem" or what they can see in the mirror (muscles on the front of the body. But strengthening your back muscles, particularly the lats (which give your back its "V" shape), can help improve posture. This exercise also targets several other muscles at once: the biceps, shoulders, and other back muscles (traps and rhomboids), which will help improve your overall upper body strength. Aim for 1-3 sets of 8-15 repetitions.

a. Starting Position
Grasp one dumbbell in your right hand, palm facing the body. Step forward with your left leg as if you were going to lunge. Bend the left knee and straighten your right leg back. Rest your left elbow your forward (left) leg. Try to create a flat back. Keep upper body steady with the abs pulled in tight.

b. Action
INHALE: With the right palm facing the body, "row" the dumbbell up as high as possible (towards the armpit) as the elbow points backwards. EXHALE: Slowly lower dumbbell back down until arm is straight, but elbow does not lock, to complete one rep. Finish one set and switch sides.

c. Special Instructions
Keep your spine in a neutral position. While lifting focus on the muscles in the back, visualizing your shoulder blade moving towards the spine, and coming back out as you release the weight down.

III. Bicycle Crunches
a. Starting Position
Begin by lying on your back with your knees bent, in line with the hips. Place hands behind your head and neck for support. Pull the naval in towards the spine throughout this movement.

b. Action
Bend your left knee in towards your chest while you crunch up and twist, bringing your right elbow towards the knee. Without resting, lower the left leg back down to the floor as the right knee comes in, twisting to the opposite side to bring your left elbow towards your right knee to complete one rep. Repeat continuously until you complete one set.

c. Special Instructions
Breathe steadily throughout this exercise.
Why they're effective: There has been a lot of research on the effectiveness of various abdominal exercises. Most experts agree that while crunches are good, adding some simple elements can make them even better. That's where the bicycle crunch comes in. Based on EMG tests of muscle activation, the bicycle crunch is one of the most effective core exercises there is, working the abs, obliques, and hips. You may want to lie on a mat, but no equipment is necessary. Aim for 1-3 sets of 8-15 repetitions.

Get Results!
Remember that there is no such thing as "spot-training." While these exercise will help strengthen and tone the muscles that they target, only cardiovascular exercise will burn the layer of fat that covers those toned muscles in the first place. Try this program 2-3 times per week, resting at least one day in between each strength workout, in combination with a moderate cardio program (30 minutes a day, 3-4 days per week). You'll notice you'll feel stronger, stand taller and look better in as little as three weeks!

School forbids child's home lunch, offers chicken nuggets

A four year-old pre-kindergartner's homemade lunch consisting of a turkey and cheese sandwich, a banana, a bag of potato chips, and an apple juice didn't pass muster at West Hoke Elementary School in Robeson County, North Carolina. Instead, a lunch monitor employed by the state insisted she eat the USDA-approved cafeteria lunch.

According to a report in a local paper, the Carolina Journal, the girl's mother (who wanted to remain anonymous), discovered the switch when her daughter came home with her packed lunch untouched. When she asked what her daughter ate for lunch, the little girl responded, "Three chicken nuggets."

USDA guidelines for pre-K programs stipulate that lunch (whether brown bagged or provided by the cafeteria) must include one serving of meat, one serving of grain, and two servings of a fruit or a vegetable. Speaking with the Journal, the child's grandmother suspected that the packed lunch was banned because of the potato chips and lack of a vegetable. A spokesperson for the Division of Child Development and Early Education and Child Development at the Department of Health and Human Services clarified and said it appeared, "the lunch itself should have met…the standard." School are not required to regulate added snack items.

Additionally, the girl's mother pointed out, "I pack her lunch box according to what she eats. It always consists of a fruit. It never consists of a vegetable. She eats vegetables at home because I have to watch her because she doesn't care for vegetables." Consistent with her mother's observation, the girl only ate the chicken nuggets and the rest of the school lunch went to waste. The kicker? The school sent the family a bill of $1.25 and a note saying that that students who didn't bring a "healthy lunch" would be given cafeteria food as a replacement.

While no one doubts the importance of childhood nutrition, rejecting a reasonable brown-bagged meal seems especially ludicrous when a few months ago Congress allowed that pizza can be considered vegetable for USDA-approved school lunches.

Should home packed lunches even be subject to government regulations? Let us know what you think in the comments below.

Why I Stopped Homeschooling

When I left my full-time corporate gig I also took BooBoo out of preschool with the hopes of homeschooling him. Good idea? Bad idea? I had no idea.

I did it to save money, plain and simple. My bloggy sistah Danielle wrote about whether preschool should be free; my pocketbook is going to go with a resounding yes on this one. My greatest fear was that I'd suck at homeschooling. Now, three months later I'm here to proclaim that I indeed suck at homeschooling.
I think I figured out why.

1. Home is where the Wii is.
And the iPad. And the TV. And the toys. And the snacks. Every day I'd prepare a beautiful and fun (or so I thought) lesson. BooBoo would begrudgingly sit down and the floodgates of irritating questions would open: How long do we have to do this? Can I play the Wii? Can I have a snack? Are we done yet? Every letter trace, every number game, every craft project was viewed as some malicious form of child abuse. Who knew making a hand-print wreath could cause such psychological damage? Not I.

2. Home is lonely.
With his brother in school all day, BooBoo was lonely - so very, very lonely. A few weeks ago I asked him to draw a picture of himself with his friends to which he replied, "I don't have any friends." Yeah, that stung.

3. Home is where Mom is.
I don't want to say it's me but it is. BooBoo has shown a million times over how good he is at following directions and behaving properly for anyone other than his mom.

4. I didn't have a solid plan.
Successful homeschooling begins and ends with an educational plan and truthfully, I didn't spend the time or energy to create one. I needed to create opportunities for my child to socialize and engage with other children and surround myself with a homeschooling community.

I began to notice my once social and happy son becoming a withdrawn child who wanted to stay in his jammies indoors all day long. This just wasn't my kid. It was clear that BooBoo needed preschool; it no longer mattered if we could afford it.

Last week I licked my wounds, accepted the truth and enrolled him in preschool three days a week part-time. I'm choosing not to view this decision as a personal failure, but rather a change of plans. I'm already beginning to see glimmers of his formal social self reemerge, proving to me that I made the right decision.

To those of you who homeschool, I bow down. It takes a special person with unwavering commitment to the cause. Maybe I'm just not that mom, but maybe (just maybe) that's OK.

Eggs: To Freeze or Not to Freeze?

As I drove to my doctor's office for a routine checkup, I had a mission. I wanted to ask about the option of freezing my eggs. I half-wished that he would just tell me that I'm too old, my eggs are done, and it would be a waste of time and money to freeze my creaky, 38-year-old eggs.
Hearing that would instantly save me from taking action regarding my reproductive future, not to mention, thousands of dollars. But that's not what he said.

He told me that the time is now. That I shouldn't even wait a year. Oh boy. Here we go. I'm a divorced single mom of a four-year old boy, who is the light of my life. I never thought I'd be the woman willing to spend thousands of dollars on conceiving my own biological child, but when I look at our faces in the mirror, or him playing with my parents, or see how similar our expressions are, my heart swells. I never thought my marriage would end, and I never thought I'd be a single mom at 38, contemplating the end of my natural fertility. But here I am. Single. And my eggs are about to expire.

The decision of freezing my eggs is complicated and rife with more questions. How badly do I want a second child? Can I afford to do it alone? What are my chances of delivering a healthy baby from a frozen egg? How long can it stay frozen? How old can I be to carry an implanted egg? What if I don't use them? This egg freezing decision is not going over easy.

I turn on the TV and catch Maria Menounous on Dr. Drew's Lifechangers chronicling her egg-freezing adventures because she is a busy working 33-year-old who wants a reproductive insurance policy of sorts, to ensure her choice to become a mother even in her 40's. I call the fertility specialist.

Even a few years ago, this was not a viable option for women. Still considered "experimental", results aren't guaranteed, but the technology has advanced. I had heard that the cost is about $10,000, but upon speaking to the specialist, the actual cost, without complications, is closer to $15-18K. That's a lot of money to preserve a future "what if."

Forgetting the preclusive price tag for the moment, I'm elated at the thought of how powerful it is for women to be offered this choice to protect our fertility in a work climate that is less than family-friendly. I tell the doctor that this could be a remarkable step for women, that as the technology advances, every 25 year-old woman could freeze her eggs, and in essence outsmart the biological clock! What a game changer this could be!

But my doctor stops me cold. She simply says, "…Or, we could live in a society that supports women in the workplace at a child-bearing age with affordable child care options and a family friendly work environment." I almost cry. She's right. If we had that, we wouldn't have to go through experimental procedures to outsmart our biological clock, we could just go with it.

She recommends that I use a sperm donor and get pregnant immediately. Which also makes me want to cry. I realize that's not what I want. I don't want another baby right now- what I do want is to be told that should I want another biological child in the future, the choice won't be taken off the table entirely.

I decide not to go through with it. I am so lucky to have my son, and I think I needed this exercise in fertility to make that crystal clear to me. Who knows what the future holds? I might meet someone and get knocked up before my eggs are done, or I might not. But either way, I've learned: Fertility is a finite thing. You don't think much about it, until you need it, and then it is still an unknown at best.

Is "Hugo" good for kids?

Hugo has been making waves with families and critics since Christmas -- and now it's leading the list of Oscar nominees with 11 Academy Award nods, including Best Picture and Best Director. If you plan to catch up on Oscar faves before the big show on Feb. 26, this is the one to see -- and don't forget to bring the kids. You may have heard buzz about the movie's directing and cinematography, but it's Hugo's role models, messages, and stellar storytelling that won our hearts.

What parents need to know
Parents need to know that although this book-based period adventure about the art and magic of movies is rated PG, it may be a tad too mature for younger elementary school-aged kids. Between the orphaned main character (whose father dies in a fire), the looming threat of being sent to the orphanage by the mean station manager, and an extended sequence about the history of early film, it's unlikely that kids under 8 will follow the sophisticated story. Since author Brian Selznick's novel is aimed at middle-grade readers, that's a good age to target for the movie, too. Kids who do watch will take away worthwhile messages about perseverance and overcoming fears, and budding filmmakers will especially delight in the movie's second half. Expect a little bit of flirting and hand-holding, a few insults, and one drunk (adult) character.

Educational value:
Kids will learn about the history of film, silent movies, and real-life French director Georges Melies, who made hundreds of the earliest short films in movie history.

Positive messages:
The movie emphasizes the importance of films and how magical movies can be for their audience. Hugo's relentless faith in his father, in his mission to fix the broken, ends up being a metaphor for healing Melies' broken heart. Hugo and Isabelle discuss how everyone -- every thing -- has a purpose, and you just have to find out what it is for that purpose to be met.

Positive role models:
Hugo and Isabelle are brave kids who overcome their fears to discover the truth. Their perseverance, even in the face of danger, sets an example for adolescents to follow their passion, seek the truth, and help fix what's broken in the world.

Violence & scariness:
Hugo's father is killed in a fire. The station inspector sics his Doberman on unaccompanied kids and then brusquely throws them into the station jail before transferring them to an orphanage. In a nightmare, Hugo dreams that he's about to be run over by a train and then that he transforms into the automaton.

Sexy stuff: Two different sets of adults flirt with each other and are shown walking hand and hand. Married Papa Georges recalls his love of Mama Jeanne, and the two embrace and kiss. Hugo and Isabel hold hands, and she kisses him on the cheek in one scene. The station inspector has humorous conversations with the policeman about marriage, infidelity, and a baby's parentage of a baby. The station inspector asks the policeman if he has "had relations" with his wife in the past year.

Language: Insults like "idiot," "no-good thief," "liar," and "drunk."

Drinking, drugs, & smoking:
Uncle Claude drinks out of a flask and is obviously drunk. The inspector calls him a host of synonyms for "inebriated." People are shown with wine glasses at the train station cafe.

Talk to your kids about:
Families can talk about the movie's message about the art of filmmaking. Are movies as transformational as Melies claims? What is the role of movies -- to entertain, to educate, to provide meaning? Do all movies fulfill that role, or only some?

The movie says Hugo was looking for a message from his father but ended up on a journey "home." What does that mean? How is Hugo responsible for everything that transpires? Fans of the book: How is the movie different than the story? What characters or scenes didn't make it into the adaptation? What did the filmmaker add that you liked? Why are changes sometimes made when books are adapted for the big screen? What's the story?

In this 1930s-set adaptation of Brian Selznick's Caldecott-winning novel, 12-year-old Hugo (Asa Butterfield) is an orphan who lives in a Paris train station. His prized possession is an automaton (mechanical man) that his late father rescued from museum archives before his death. Hugo steals from the various shops at the train station to get by, but when he attempts to swipe a wind-up mouse from eccentric toy seller Georges (Ben Kingsley), he embarks on an adventure that leads him to uncover exactly what the automaton is and why it's important. "Papa" Georges' orphaned goddaughter, Isabelle (Chloë Grace Moretz), befriends the mysterious Hugo, and the two explore the train station and Paris at large while evading the station inspector (Sacha Baron Cohen), who's notorious for sending unaccompanied kids to the orphanage.

Is it any good?
Martin Scorsese isn't the kind of director you'd expect to make a spectacular film for families. He is, after all, the auteur behind such mobster dramas as Goodfellas, Casino, and The Departed. But by selecting Selznick's genre-defying illustrated novel as his subject, Scorsese is able to tackle one of his personal passions -- the history of early film and a very real director named Georges Melies. Once Hugo discovers that Papa Georges is actually the long retired-but-not-forgotten prewar director, the story transforms into a visual love letter to the pioneers of film history, as viewed from the perspective of a young movie fan.

Couple Finally Reveals Child's Gender, Five Years After Birth

It's a boy! And he's five. Beck Laxton, 46, and partner Kieran Cooper, 44, have spent half the decade concealing the gender of their son, Sasha. "I wanted to avoid all that stereotyping," Laxton said in an interview with the Cambridge News. "Stereotypes seem fundamentally stupid. Why would you want to slot people into boxes?"

Laxton, a UK-based web editor, and her partner, Cooper, decided to keep Sasha's sex a secret when he was still in the womb. The birth announcement stated the gender-neutral name of their child, but skipped the big reveal. Up until recently, the couple only told a few close friends and family members that Sasha was a boy and managed to keep the rest of the world in the dark. But now that he's starting school the secret's out.

For years, Becks has been referring to her child, the youngest of three, as "the infant" on her personal blog. But guarding the public from her son's gender was only part of her quest to let her kid just be a kid.

Sasha dresses in clothes he likes -- be it a hand-me-downs from his sister or his brother. The big no-no's are hyper-masculine outfits like skull-print shirts and cargo pants. In one photo, sent to friends and family, Sasha's dressed in a shiny pink girl's swimsuit. "Children like sparkly things," says Beck. "And if someone thought Sasha was a girl because he was wearing a pink swimming costume, then what effect would that have? "

Sasha's also not short on dolls, though Barbie is also off limits. "She's banned because she's horrible," Laxton says in the Cambridge interview.

On a macro level she hopes her son sets an example for other parents and makes them reconsider buying their own sons trucks or forcing their daughters into tights. She's seen how those consumer trappings affect how and who kids play with in the sandbox.

But the sandbox is just a precursor to the classroom. When Sasha turned five and headed to school, Laxton was forced to make her son's sex public. That meant Sasha would have to get used to being a boy in the eyes of his peers. Still, his mom is intervening. While the school requires different uniforms for boys and girls, Sasha wears a girl's blouse with his pants.

"I don't think I'd do it if I thought it was going to make him unhappy, but at the moment he's not really bothered either way. We haven't had any difficult scenarios yet."

Last year another couple, Kathy Witterick, 38, and David Stocker, 39, of Toronto made a similar decision when they had their baby, Storm. At the time, certain psychiatric experts voiced concern over their decision. "To have a sense of self and personal identity is a critical part of normal healthy development," Dr. Eugene Beresin, director of training in child and adolescent psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital, told ABC News. "This blocks that and sets the child up for bullying, scapegoating and marginalization."

But as parents well know, bullying is hard for any child to avoid. It's more important to raise someone who's confident enough in himself to overcome peer pressure. It's also important to have his parents have his back (remember the mom who defended her son's choice in a Halloween costume?) Maybe Sasha's early years will be character building, maybe he'll have a higher emotional quotient being raised with dual perspectives on gender. Or the reverse could be true: Sasha may have less of a formed identity because of his upbringing, and feel angry at his mom for dressing him in flowery shirts and telling the world about it. Then again, maybe he'll get over it.

As for Laxton, she says she's open to her son pursing any career or sexual preference he chooses as he matures. "As long as he has good relationships and good friends," she says, "then nothing else matters, does it?"

5 Things I Want My Kid to Learn from Martin Luther King, Jr

By: Lori Garcia
Martin Luther King, Jr. was an incredible man. I know you already know that, but will you be using his national holiday to talk to your children about his legacy and spirit? I'd really like to.

I'd like to believe tolerance and acceptance of all other cultures is not only evident, but celebrated, within my multicultural family. Just the other day my 4-year-old asked me why he doesn't have "yellow" hair or light skin like I do. It gave me great pride to remind him that our beautiful family is the creation of two people from two different races that met, fell in love and started a family. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said himself, "We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now." How lucky I am indeed to be in the same ship with these beautiful people.

Martin Luther King, Jr.'s light shown so brightly that this year, 44 years after his untimely passing, we still look to the wisdom of his incredible spirit and realize not only how far we've come, but how far we have yet to go.

Martin Luther King, Jr. dreamed a dream we all share for our children. I hope to pass along these 5 lessons inspired by Martin Luther King, Jr. to my children.

1. The Ultimate Sacrifice
"If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live." I'd like to teach my children the power of Mr. King's quest for social equality and the ultimate sacrifice he paid.

2. The Importance of Truth
"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." Honesty, integrity, and accountability are the greatest character building blocks we can offer our children. We must lead by example.

3. The Power of Love
"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear." Love is all you need. Showing love and kindness, especially to those who've done little to deserve it, sends a powerful message to our children.

4. The Courage of Faith
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." Bravery isn't the absence of fear, but rather the courage to face the unknown with faith - a powerful lesson for kids, whether they're afraid of monsters under the bed or something more.

5. The Gift of Acceptance
"I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." As parents, we must do everything we can to encourage open-mindedness, kindness, and tolerance.

Do “Tiger Moms” Raise Depressed Kids?

By: Sarah B. Weir
According to Professor Desiree Baolian Qin of the Michigan State University Department of Human Development and Family Studies, parents inspired by Amy Chua's controversial bestseller, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,"
should consider muffling their roars and filing down their claws. Chua is currently touring with her book, which was recently released in paperback.

In two research papers that will soon be published in the "Journal of Adolescence" and "New Directions for Adolescent Development," Qin, also a Chinese mother of two girls, takes a more nuanced look at both the benefits and drawbacks of the "Eastern" style of parenting as espoused by Chua. "Chinese American students are often perceived as problem-free high-achievers," Qin told Yahoo! Shine. "Recent research, however, suggests that high-achieving Chinese American students can experience elevated levels of stress, especially compared to their peers from other ethnic groups."

Qin also points out that students from Chinese families experience more depression and anxiety and lower self-esteem than their Caucasian counterparts. Qin notes: "My findings suggest that there are tremendous psychosocial challenges facing high-achieving students in a pressure cooker environment. At the high school I studied, according to a student survey, students slept an average of 5 to 6 hours every day … They were intensely competitive with their peers and calculated their GPA to the nth decimal point as soon as they got their report cards. Cheating was surprisingly common."

"When I first read Chua's book, I was mostly amused and surprised," says Qin. The book details how Chua demanded straight A's from her daughters; drilled them for hours a day; and forbade them from having play dates and sleepovers or didn't let them watch TV. Qin had heard about other Chinese parents, mostly from lower socio-economic backgrounds, who raised their kids with such extreme standards so they might have the opportunity to "get out of a village and into college." "But I was surprised that a Yale law school professor would parent this way." Qin, who moved to the United States in 1996, was raised by her grandparents. "My younger brother, who is a biochemist, and I are both what you would call 'high achievers.' But we were brought up with lots of unconditional love and little pressure."

Qin says, "I think in general, I am a pretty lenient parent. Part of it is due to my own research findings -- the key role played by parents in children's mental health down the road." But, she still has high aspirations for her daughters who are now 4 and 2 years old. "I want my girls to do well in school, find something they are something they are really interested in doing as a profession, and have curiosity and passion for their work and develop genuine care for those from less advantaged backgrounds." While she says she actually admires the hours that Chua spent working with her children each day, her own style of parenting emphasizes helping her girls develop their emotional intelligence, and she feels that "a child's happiness is vitally important" to their development.

Despite some of her criticism of Chua's work, Qin believes there are lessons to be learned from the "Tiger Mom." She agrees that children will develop true self-esteem when it is grounded in actual achievements instead of constant praise. "In the United States," she says, "parents are so worried about hurting the self esteem of their children and how others see them as parents." While she feels the Western parents tend to do better in taking care of children's emotional well-being, "Children do need adult guidance and discipline. They also need to hear honest feedback from their parents in a loving environment."

Bad Dad Confessional: I Swear in Front of My Kids

By: Jason Avant
One of the funniest aspects of this whole "dadblogging is a new phenomenon" thing (unrelated: last month I celebrated my 6th year as a dadblogger) is this underlying assumption that we blogging dads are some sort of role model,
a small but dedicated cadre of new Atticus Finches who are enlightening the rest of the dadding masses through our exemplary behavior.

Here's the reality. Last night, as befitting my New Model Dad status, I was preparing dinner for the family (nothing fancy - just some chicken baked in some leftover Thanksgiving gravy; after busting out the cooking skills on Turkey Day, I was still spent). The microwave beeped as I was putting some glasses into our dishwasher. I turned, removed the Tupperware container full of leftover stuffing, which promptly slipped out of my hand and exploded all over the floor. I clenched my jaw, bumped into the protruding top rack of the dishwasher, causing it to slam back into the machine, resulting in one of the glasses shattering into a million pieces. "Oh, FUDGE. FUDGE ME, you motherfudger!" I snarled.

Only, like A Christmas Story's Ralphie, I didn't say "fudge." And of course the kids were sitting right there. I wish I could tell you that this was an isolated incident, but it's just the latest in a long series of me swearing in front of my kids. I have a mouth like a sailor; while I don't have a very good filter, my volume control's become much better over the past few years.

But unfortunately, my son absorbed a few of the bad words at a very early age. (Decorum prohibits me from telling my favorite "four-year-old drops the F-bomb" story - you can read it here.) Despite a couple of isolated incidents, he keeps his language clean. This is to his credit: he's also reading chapter books these days, and he's shown a preference for books for older kids and even adults. He's working his way through the Harry Potter series (which contain the occasional "damn" and "hell"), the Percy Jackson series (ditto), and the Artemis Fowl books (likewise). He understands that he's not to use the bad words he may read in books, or that he hears in his favorite movies or TV shows. This is easier in theory than it is in practice: my in-laws recently gave him a copy of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and while I'm thrilled that he's excited to dive into that classic work of American literature, I'm not at all sure he's capable of processing Twain's prolific use of the n-word.

But I figure he's got a few more years until he's ready for that. In the meantime, I'll continue to not worry too much about my language. Part of parenting is teaching your kids to use good judgment and to think things through before they actually do them; so far, my son's done pretty well in that regard. Now that my daughter's picking up new words, I suppose I'll need to be extra careful about the ones I use around her. On the flip side, a cute little redhaired girl cursing like a rap star? That is blogging GOLD.

How to Raise a Confident Woman

By: Denise Schipani
Girls receive mixed messages all the time--on the one hand, they're told that they can do anything. At the same time, Barbie tells them that "math is hard!" They're encouraged to play sports, but then watch TV shows featuring girls who are more likely to gossip on the sidelines than be on the field.
"The good news is that most parents understand there are issues around raising girls, and they want to get it right," says Amy Sluss, family life specialist and founder of Fabulous to Be Female, an organization that works toward empowering girls. So what can you do? The first step, she says, is not to let those images of sexy, catty young girls go by without comment. But there's much more to keep in mind when it comes to raising a motivated, independent girl-read on for eight important ways to raise a strong woman.

Compliment all of her good qualities-not just her looks
Of course your little girl is cute as can be, and getting prettier every day. And chances are she takes pride in hearing that she's adorable. "We all like knowing we look good," says Sluss, "so you don't have to stop telling your daughter that she's pretty." Instead, the idea here is to compliment her on other things also. "When you see her taking great joy in something, mention it," says Sluss. Try: "I love that huge smile! You look so happy on the swings!" This sends the message that a big part of her beauty is the happiness she projects. Also applaud her abilities and accomplishments, like spelling, drawing, being a good friend or helping her little brother, too. Pepper in praise for all the things that make her a whole, authentic person, not just one part that's great about her.

Expose your daughter to sports and other activities
Offer your child a chance to try everything from ballet to swimming to music to art. "Girls who find what they like early are more likely to stick with it and cultivate long-lasting and confidence-boosting friendships," says Mramor. Sports are especially helpful to girls. "Athletics encourage body awareness, so girls grow up knowing what feels good and what doesn't," says Mramor. "They also learn how they can change their bodies through exercise and get better at sports through practice, which leads to self-assurance," says Sluss. So it's well worth it to get your daughter involved in a variety of activities when she's young.

Teach her about puberty before it happens
You don't need to have a full-on birds-and-bees conversation with your daughter at age six (though if she asks questions, answer them honestly and in an age-appropriate fashion), but the more you talk about the ways the female body changes over time, the more you normalize the experience for her, giving her a healthier body image and setting the stage for comfortable sex and dating chats later on. When it comes to talking about sex, try to keep your own discomfort about discussing the subject out of the equation, says Mramor. "Project confidence, but if you are uncomfortable, be honest. Tell her, 'I used to not want to talk about this because it felt icky, but you don't have to feel that way.'" Books about puberty are a huge help, both for you to share with her and for her to look at on her own.

Explain the difference between fantasy and reality
Have you ever wondered what impact those princess costumes and fairy tale movies have on your daughter? While it's perfectly normal for young girls to like these stories-many of which include a knight on a white horse riding in to save the princess-add some real-world perspective to these tales. Ask your child: "What do you think happens to Cinderella after she gets married? What will Ariel be doing in five years?" These talks will go a long way toward helping your daughter put fantasy in its place and realize that she doesn't have to depend on a man to "rescue" her. But don't ban the sparkles and fairy wands altogether. "Taking away what kids want most only makes it more attractive," says Sluss. Instead, use it as yet another chance to separate fact from fiction, adds Mramor. "Point out that Cinderella is great fun, but it's not real; what's real is school, her family, her friends and her activities."

Focus on being healthy-not being slim
Moms with a negative body image are more likely than those who are happy with their appearance to have daughters who don't like their bodies, according to a recent Western Oregon University study. So avoid commenting on your own unhappiness with your size, advises child psychologist Nancy Mramor, Ph.D. Instead, be a healthy-eating and exercise role model and fill your home mostly with nutritious foods, without turning any particular food into the enemy. "Make it clear that no foods are off-limits, but some foods make up the mainstay of a healthy diet," says Mramor. Plus, be active as a family--bike to errands and take walks after dinner. And if your little girl says something like, "I'm so fat" or "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" respond simply with, "Well, I think you look beautiful," says Sluss. Explain that the real world is full of girls and women of all sizes and shapes, and that what we see on TV or in magazines isn't reality.

Don't forget male influences
It's not entirely up to you to raise a confident young girl. When girls have a close relationship with their father, it can help promote successful relationships as adults, says Mramor. Fathers naturally pay a different kind of attention to their daughters, she adds, such as engaging in more physical activities together. Ask your child's father (or, if there's no father in the picture, another trusted man in your daughter's life, such as your father, brother or a good friend) to take her along on an errand, or do chores with her, like raking leaves or fixing the car. "Men are more likely to talk with children while doing other activities, rather than have face-to-face chats," says Mramor. Remember, too, that daughters are watching how their fathers treat the women in their lives, from his mother to his work colleagues. "This is how your child starts understanding how men and women relate to each other," says Sluss.

Point out female role models
You may have already called attention to professional soccer goalie Hope Solo's great saves, or told your daughter about political figures like Hillary Clinton or historic heroines like Ruby Bridges. While you're discussing these famous females to show your girl that she can be or do anything, don't forget the women right around you. Mention heroic women by saying things like, "isn't it great how Aunt Jennie is getting her master's degree now that her kids are in school? How cool is your old babysitter, who just got a basketball scholarship to college?" Take any chance you can to tell your daughter that women can be much, much more than thin or pretty.


Don't dismiss sexism when you see it
Sexist comments and situations are all around us, and should be pointed out to younger girls who may not be able to tell the difference between jokes and reality. If, for example, a TV show is parodying a sexist situation, "your daughter may be too young to understand that it's just for laughs," says Sluss. Take time to explain what she saw. And be sure not to let real-life examples of sexism go unexplained. Put a positive spin on them, says Sluss. If someone in her class tells her, "you can't be president because girls can't be president," you can say, "he shouldn't have said that, because women can be president--it just hasn't happened yet."

Yummy ideas for kids' potluck dishes

We all know how popular a potluck can be. But, what if you're serving kids? Obviously, many of the dishes adults bring to parties aren't always a favorite among children. Thankfully, there are several kid-friendly recipes you can make for a potluck.
Whether it's a pizza-flavored pot pie or a chicken macaroni and cheese, kids will absolutely love these dishes. Here are just a few ideas to get you started.

Pizza Pot Pie
What kid doesn't love pizza? This dish is not only popular with kids, but is a great way to sneak in some much-needed vegetables. For the filling of the pot pie, you will mix heated marinara sauce with chunks of pepperoni, thinly sliced mushrooms and finely chopped peppers and onions. Pour the filling into a casserole dish and top with a generous portion of shredded mozzarella cheese. Top with a prepared pie crust and cut to vent. Then brush the crust with egg whites and bake in a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes or until the crust is golden brown.

Chicken and Cheese Macaroni
Kids love macaroni and cheese and they love chicken. This simple recipe combines the two to create a quick potluck meal that hides just a bit of broccoli. Start with shells macaroni and cheese (the kind with the cheese sauce) and boil the macaroni according to the package directions, leaving out 1/3 of the macaroni. Around 3 minutes before the macaroni is cooked, add frozen broccoli florets and continue until the pasta is cooked through. Drain the pasta and broccoli and stir in the cheese sauce along with chopped chicken breasts or tenderloins. You can keep the dish warm in a slow cooker.

Fairy Tale Fruit Salad
This fruit salad isn't so much about the fruit as it is the shapes. If starfruit is in season, combine starfruit with cantaloupe and mango that has been sliced into moon shapes. If starfruit isn't in season, you can cut any large fruit into star shapes using a cookie cutter. Once the fruit is combined, stir in a simple syrup flavored with lemon, lime or orange juice along with miniature marshmallows (AKA clouds).

This fruit salad is both fanciful and healthy. A kids' potluck doesn't have to be scary. There are a number of fun dishes you can make that kids will absolutely love. Whether it's flavoring a dish with pizza or creating a fanciful fruit salad, there are so many dishes to choose from.

Babies are good judges of character

This just in: Babies know if you’re a liar or a jerk. A new study, published by the journal Infant Behavior and Development, has revealed that babies can identify dishonest behaviour and will avoid imitating adults exhibiting “irrational or inefficient” behaviour.


"Specifically, infants choose not to learn from someone who they perceive as unreliable,” study researcher Diane Poulin-Dubois told LiveScience.

Researchers took 60 babies, all 13 or 16 months old, and divided the youngsters into two groups. The first group was paired with “unreliable” experimenters. The adults looked inside a container and expressed excitement at what was inside. Then the babies looked inside: the box was empty.

The other babies had “reliable” adults with them, expressing excitement at what was inside the box: a toy.

Later, the babies reunited with the same adults for another experiment. This time, only 34 of the babies with the “unreliable” leader agreed to play along with the game, while 61 per cent of the babies in the “reliable” group followed the adult’s lead.

“This shows infants will imitate behaviour from a reliable adult,” said researcher Ivy Brooker. “In contrast, the same behaviour performed by an unreliable adult is interpreted as irrational or inefficient, therefore not worth imitating.”

"Like older children, infants keep track of an individual's history of being accurate or inaccurate and use this information to guide their subsequent learning," Poulin-Dubois said. Next time you’re playing with little ones, play fair.

Best and Worst Celebrity Baby Names of 2011

In countries such as New Zealand or Sweden there are outright bans on certain names, which means creative parents never get the chance to saddle Junior with a moniker like "Lucifer," "Superman," or the rather tricky to pronounce name, "Brfxxccxxmnpcccclll- mmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116." But in this country, we have no such laws, which means people (and by people, I really mean rock stars, models, pro athletes, and reality TV performers) are free to choose whatever kind of shocking/silly names they fancy. In the past few years, celebrities have exercised this right at full tilt--as a result,
the baby names some stars came up with bordered on the absurd (I'm thinking of infamous bad choices like Apple, Kal-el, or Rob Morrow's daughter Tu Morrow--yes, that's real).

These famous folks might do well to follow the advice of an instructional guide we found called "How to Name Your Baby Without Handicapping It for Life," published in 1922 by a world-class curmudgeon who happened to be named Alexander McQueen. In it, McQueen admonished, "Give your children names indicative of what you would have them be--in this world and in the world to come--and at the same time bear in mind the practical, everyday value of a well-chosen name." To this end, he offered parents "The Seven Rules of Naming":

1. The name should be worthy. 2. It should have a good meaning. 3. It should be original. 4. It should be easy to pronounce. 5. It should be distinctive. 6. It should fit the family name. 7. It should indicate the sex.

In 2011, there were some celebrity parents who did manage, in McQueen's style, to come up with inspired and tasteful names for their little ones, though some very much did not. Here's our roundup, Best celeb baby names 2011:

Girls
Amaya (Mariska Haritgay)
Joni (Zac Brown of the Zac Brown Band)
Monroe (Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon)
Penelope Athena (Tina Fey)
Willow Sage (Pink)

Boys
Milo (Alyssa Milano)
Skyler (Rachel Zoe)
Marcelo (Ali Landry)
Flynn (Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom)
Weston (Jenna Fischer)

Worst celeb baby names, 2011 edition:
Girls
Mosely (Peyton Manning)
Mirabella Bunny (Bryan Adams)
Genesis (Viola Davis)
Arlo (Johnny Knoxville)
Indiana (Ethan Hawke)

Boys
Kroy Jagger (Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim Zolciak)
Spike (Mike Myers)
Bear Blu (Alicia Silverstone)
Kannon (Kevin James)
Diesel (Jennie Finch)
Moroccan Scott (Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon)

In 2012, I suspect Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck (parents of Violet and Seraphina) will give their new baby boy a name fit for the "best of" list, and here's hoping that Beyonce and Jay-Z and Jessica Simpson get their hands on a copy of "How to Name Your Baby Without Handicapping It for Life."

How much do you spend on Christmas?

I overdid it. I did. I bought too much. I spent too much. I am usually so good at keeping all the costs and expectations of the holidays in check, about focusing on the giving and the activities and the festive glee of it all instead of loading up the tree with colourful boxes and bags and bows.

My kids don’t want for anything so, when it comes to their Christmas gifts, I’ve always had such great restraint. We didn’t want to set up these grand expectations of Christmas (read: greedy gimmes) and honestly, we didn’t want more stuff in our house to find places for, fight about and, of course, trip over.

Maybe I bought the awesome dollhouse too early (although that link shows that it's now sold out, so good on me. My nephew generously spent four hours building it at my parents’ house and apparently it’s huge and amazing!). I was so proud of myself for getting the big gift out of the way, knowing I would just pick up some books and little things. But something happened in the last few weeks, spurred on by a stupid, unplanned trip to The Disney Store, and now my kids have too much stuff.

But you know what? They’re going to just go nuts on Christmas morning and I’m so excited. Maybe it’s this age, two girls at five and three years old, but it’s like they’re at the perfect age for Christmas. Maybe next year Anna will be into being “cool” and want clothes and music and electronic gadgets that compel her to sit on a couch and shut out the rest of the world.

But right now, they just want to play. They immerse themselves in a beautiful world of make believe all day long. They want dolls and doll clothes and princessy things and fake jewellery and fancy dress-up stuff. And man, they’re going to get it. I can hardly wait to see their faces on Christmas morning. The best part is that they haven’t really asked for anything, so they’ll be totally surprised. I’ve decided to shake off the guilt and just embrace it.

I interviewed a woman for a story once and she told me this cool thing about what she gets her kids for Christmas: “Something to play with, something to wear, something to read and something to share.” I love that — I’ve never forgotten it. I did follow that for my girls …it’s just that the first part turned plural. And how.